July 06, 2005

i'm feeling extremely bad.
i've got to make this quick cause i've yet to eat(!) and bathe and everything else. but i have a strong urge to blog so here goes..

today isn't really my day. i wasn't being myself and i can't stop thinking about the negativity of all negativities.

/before yu start reading the next paragraph, i'd would like to say that i'm blogging just to vent my own frustrations. so even if yu're out of tune with my warped sayings and thinking, please don't start getting annoyed or anything like that.


it was only three months ago, when i professed my love for mj's weighing machine.. for it was kind and it decided to reduce a few kilograms from the weight shown on the electronic scale. but today, it turned its back on me as it finally reveals the true lard face i really am. i was deluding myself when i thought i could shed some lard by running six rounds around the track yesterday. the fact that i did put on weight came as a terrible blow to me and my lardy self.
oh kay, ignore me. i'm just whining. i must run more!

sigh, i'm starting to feel really worthless. my grades are horrifyingly baaad, and i have absolutely no idea how am i ever gonna escape the ever-approaching terrible fate that my parents are soon gonna bestow upon me. i'm gonna hate that look of disappointment which i'll definitely see in my parents' eyes. how am i ever gonna survive the following week of more exam paper horrors. howhowhow.

i feel so useless.. for bringing so much unhappiness to everyone around me. i'm academically disabled, and i possess severe clarinet playing disabilities. i get disgusted with my own sound, and i can't even hold for more than four bars in noah's ark! i'm a good-for-nothing, i swear. i don't even have enough courage to make announcements in front of a group of people. i'm this and i'm that. ican'tstandmyself.


i've lost the mood to blog. i've having one of those ifeeluseless moods so pardon the dispiriting entry. i apologise for the incoherence too. tomorrow will be a better day. i hope.

Thoughts Aloud at 8:12:00 pm